Starting off, I want to thank the awesome people over at MyPleasure, for being so patient with me in getting this review out, and of course, thank them for providing the toy I am reviewing!

When I first saw the design of the Tango Dancer, I thought “Toothbrush?” and I was definitely dubious as to whether or not this would be a successful toy. I must say, I was pleasantly surprised. Not to mention, the color is wonderful in person. I’m so tired of pink toys; this toy is a playful twilightly/indigo combination.

Packaging

There’s nothing here worth commenting on. No naked ladies, but no classiness. It was just a plain plastic shell and a cardboard insert that lists a small bit of info.

The first thing I noticed was California Exotics pushing their “State of the Art Memory Chip”. Now, I don’t claim to know much about technology but this makes me extremely skeptical. Quote from the back of the package: “State of the Art Memory Chip Allows You to Turn Off Vibrator and Later Resume on the Same Function!” And it does exactly that, but I felt like they shouldn’t act like it is some huge innovation because other companies have had vibrators doing this for years.

Edit: Evidently this toy has been out for awhile and was one of the first toys to have this ‘memory chip’ technology. The fact that it’s been manufactured for so long is a good sign to me.

I won’t be keeping this toy in its annoying little plastic clamshell package. It takes forever to put it back and it doesn’t close completely anymore, no matter how perfectly I try to put it in.

Another thing I hated about the package was this sentence from the cover, “Feel the Rhythm with this Totally Multi-Function, Satiny Soft, Ultra Powerful, Magical Wand!” I can handle a little bit of ‘floofy’ language, but, I’m sorry, ‘magical wand’? No. No. No. Just Don’t.

Materials

The long tip and parts of the handle are crafted from a silky TPR silicone. The very very top is slightly flexible, the handle is completely stiff ABS plastic. I kinda wish the tip were as firm as the handle because when I try to press it into my clit, it bends away a tiny bit. Some people will like this, I imagine, because the material is softer and could be considered ‘gentler’. I have to press really hard to get the tip to point north, everything up to slightly past the narrow neck is complete, immobile, stiff, rigid silicone covered plastic.

TPR silicone is not quite pure silicone, so only use water based lubes, or you run the risk of ruining your toy. Wash with soap and water after each use to keep it clean and safe!

How to Use

I understand this toy is being marketed as a g-spot toy, but it certainly did not do anything for me because it was so thin! My g-spot needs broad stimulation. Luckily, my clit loves to have the kind of pinpoint stimulation that this toy is built for.

The vibrations are in the moderate to deep range, and that is the kind that works best for me.

There are two buttons on the bottom: “Power” on/off and “Cycle” through the vibrations levels. The ‘memory chip’ that Cal Exotics is so proud of does indeed work. I always turn it on, get off on that one level and turn it right back off. There are 3 steady vibration levels, and 7 patterns that vary in strength and speed.

2 AAA batteries are required for use, but are easy to put in (thank god!) and there’s a reassuring ‘click’ when the bottom is screwed into place.

My Use

My clit and I love this toy. Love it. Despite the whispery, almost kinda loud motor that can be heard through covers but (probably) not through the door. Keep some music or a TV on in the background and this toy will just sound like whitenoise.

I only ever use the highest steady vibration level that this toy has. None of the patterns are exactly what my body needs.

The only thing I really cannot stand? The wristband with the plastic heart bead. I’m a big girl, I can hold onto my vibrator(s) just fine.

The best use I’ve ever had with this toy comes in conjunction with a partner. I used this one night after getting really turned on. This is by far one of the best vibrators I’ve used that fits so comfortably in between two people. Its size is perfect to hold in hand. When I’m using in between the two of us, I hold it kind of like I would hold a whisk.

I started using it the moment his penis went in (after a few orgasms that he had brought on with his fingers), and I had one of the most intense orgasms ever. Like, “Top Three,” at least. I lost control of my vocal cords and just screamed in pleasure. I’m so glad no one was home when we did this because it probably sounded like I was being injured. Badly.

Toothbrush appearance or not, this one will definitely be staying at the top of the toy drawer at his house.

Thanks so much again My Pleasure for sending me this toy to review!

Image Credit

So far I’ve finished 3 finals; one of which was an art final where I had to make 25 identical prints (Phew!) And I’m writing this in the middle of studying for my Political Science final (yay last one!)

My regularly scheduled blogging will continue shortly after I finish this final and move back into my parents house. I have a couple waaayy overdue reviews (sorry My Pleasure! Thanks for being so cool about it!) and I plan on having at least one up within the week and hopefully both of them up by a week from Wednesday.

I will be going on vacation for a week in Europe this summer, but other than that and working about 25 hours a week, I should be completely free to review and I honestly cannot wait. Expect some other (non-review) posts as well because I miss all of you guys!

So not sure how future “volumes” of “Etsy Finds” are going to go down but I found these awesome panties and had to show you guys. The pictures link directly to their listings online, so go have a gander if you’d like.

(PST. ITS A UTERUS! HOW GREAT IS THAT?)

And while glancing through the rest of the store, I found these adorable flashy funky ones that I’m also dying to have.

Anyways, just wanted to do a quick post to let ya’ll know I’m still up and running. Hopefully I’ll be able to find more of these awesome things (uteruses are especially great) to share with you guys.

I know I disappeared for about two months, and I’m here to apologize to my readers . Generally, I try to post at least weekly, and even then I don’t always follow through. But, as I reacquaint myself with the review/sex blogger atmosphere, I realize, I’m incredibly lazy. LAZY. So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll chat about myself then tell you all what I hope will change around here.

Me
1) This semester at school has felt especially grueling, even though I’m sure it isn’t too much worst than the last few. I love all the classes I’m taking, even though it ranges from art to math. One of the art classes I’m taking is basically an ‘intro’ course for my major, and at the end of the semester they judge if I’m good enough to enter the school of graphic design. Each of these projects takes hours upon hours; add this onto the statistics class that I haven’t been doing well in, and then factor in all the essays I’m writing for English. I’ve been getting bogged down, and for that, I apologize.

2) I watched a documentary called Food Inc. about 2 weeks ago. It was an amazing documentary but it was horrifying to witness. I went vegetarian for a while (2 weeks), but I decided to only eat organic/free-range meats and eggs four times a month. Which is so expensive but is so worth it. It’s hard to eat vegetarian on campus; I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to maintain this, but hopefully I can avoid meat for a while. I went vegetarian for a full year, a couple of years ago, and I became so unhealthy. I lost 3 pant sizes, became super pale, and tired all the time. When my immune system started failing, I started to eat meat again. Hopefully, that won’t happen this time.

3) I hate hate hate hate my roommate. There’s a housing shortage, so I can’t change rooms until next year. Forgive me if I sound irritating, cranky, nasty, bitchy, but I really just need to let some of this out.

  • She has phone sex with her boyfriend. WHILE I’M IN THE ROOM, STUDYING FOR CLASS. I have also woken up in the middle of the night to her talking to her boyfriend about how my moaning in my sleep turns her on. Yeah. It’s that creepy.
  • As I write this, she has turned on her screaming, heavy metal music, and cranked it to full volume. Even though I’m wearing soundproof earphones (listen to the Cosby Show), I can hear every lyric/screech/guitar riff. I love all music, but that’s just so rude.
  • Her laundry is spilled out across the floor and is threatening to take over my side of the room. Her (empty) laundry basket somehow ends up on my side of the room every morning and evening.
  • I’ve been living with her for 1.5 semesters, and I have yet to see her brush her teeth.
  • She tried to get me to let her boyfriend LIVE in our room. We share one room, about 100 square feet, with one sink and two beds. There is NO room for more than two people. Not to mention, it’s illegal.
  • She plays RuneScape and talks on the phone until (on average) 4am, and stays asleep until about 4pm. I go to work at 8am, so I go to sleep about midnight. These two things do not go well together.
  • She lets her friends sleep in my bed, use my camera/laptop, go through my drawers/spill food all over my desk and pillow/leave trash all over everything.
  • Speaking of trash, she has a pile of take-out boxes (about the size of an average refrigerator) sitting on her desk.

4)I was planning on living with my best friend in an apartment next year, but do to various reasons, that fell through. I’m still totally unsure as to how this will affect everything. I really don’t want to be a Junior living in the dorm, but parents refuse to pay for apartment and I doubt I’ll be able to afford it by myself.

5)My boyfriend told me we were going to go ‘ring shopping’ for our upcoming 2-year anniversary. Sound like an impending proposal/hint to anyone else? It certainly did to me. He clarified (after seeing my slack-jawed, pale face) that it was NOT ‘that kind of ring,’. Equal feelings of ‘phew’ and ‘thank god’. I honestly thought if he proposed I would be one of those girls screaming ‘OH YES! YES YES YES!’ but I uttered an ‘uhm…no,’ instead. What does that mean? Beats me. But, I love him, so I hope we’ll be together a while longer.

Sorry guys, that was way more about me than I anticipated. On to the good stuff!

The Blog
Hopefully, over the coming months, I’ll be able to feature my very first giveaway. I’ll be able to do more reviews and more (non-sexy & sexy) blogging. Would anyone be interested in learning what I’m interested in? Say, maybe, the products I’m most excited about, both sex-related and non-sex-related? More talking about me? Should I post some of my art? A weekly food column(I cook a new/different meal every weekend)? What would you like to see? What are you curious about?

I love to hear from new people; I love to talk to everyone. So please, don’t  hesitate to email me, or DM me on twitter. I’d even give out my IM in case you ever want to have a long chat with me. Hope you all had a great Valentines Day! (reminds me, if want to know about my day, I’d be more than happy to blog about it :P)

First of all, this review was a long time in coming (sorry Fascinations!) for a couple different reasons, one of which is, this is the first time I’ve ever written a review on a book. Please don’t hesitate to comment or contact me if I forget anything that you’d like to know.

I wanted to review an erotic short story collection because I love the smutty scenes in romance novels. I wanted to review this book, Naughty Stories from A to Z, because it has many different scenarios; it has something for everyone (and, I’ll be honest, I love the little hand in lace on the cover). I wasn’t too sure what type of erotica appealed to me because I haven’t read very much of it. I also kinda wanted to review this one because “Banned in Texas” is a prominent feature on the cover. (Turns out, it’s only banned in Texas prisons because “it encourages deviate sexual behavior”)

I really wish I could give this book a better review because it has potential for being this awesome collection of well-written stories. Unfortunately, I found most of the stories too short to enjoy, most of them were written by amateur authors, and some had noticeable typos. The length of the stories was really the biggest source of frustration because the moment the story was just getting good, it would end. Several of the stories are only 4 pages long. There are 27 total stories, 184 pages.

Here is the table of contents. I know it's kinda huge (sorry guys), I wanted to make sure it was readable.

Truly, I typically like any erotica, no matter if amateurs write it or not. In this book however, I felt like some of the stories weren’t well written. I know some people might not even notice this, but when I compared the sex scene in a highly rated romance novel to some stories in this novel, there was a recognizable drop in quality. Romance novels and erotic short stories are two completely different animals but I feel like I shouldn’t be able to notice the quality drop. Same with the noticeable typos. I’m not an English major; I’m an art major that is somewhat conscious of these things (although not a perfect writer by any means). Any publisher worth their salt should notice and correct spelling errors.

One of the best things about this novel is the vast spectrum of topics. It really should have something for everyone. It goes from exhibitionists to first time orgy partakers to BDSM to phone sex to gay encounters. One of my favorite scenes is of average length, 7 pages long. It details the adventures of a first-time exhibitionist, displaying her self-enjoyment in the window of her hotel room.

I don’t think I’ll be reading this book cover to cover like I did when I first received it. I might go back to find my favorites and mark them, but I think that will only be about 10 of the stories. I’m still happy I got it for review because I found interest in some areas that I never knew I would enjoy.

Thanks Fascinations, for giving me this book in exchange for an honest review.

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